Harry Potter and the Gender Changing Beans
by Headbanger62
Summary: You get the gist of it by the title. Rated PG for excessive use of the words "Boobs", "Package", and "You-Knows".


Harry Potter and the Gender Changing Beans  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters. I do own the Gender Changing Beans though.  
  
  
It was a bright and sunny morning as usual in the Hogwarts School of Magic. Normal people would have thought the day would start normally. Anyone who does, they're dead wrong.  
  
Everyone at Hogwarts: "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Harry: "I HAVE BOOBS!!!!"  
  
Ron: "ME TOO!!!!"  
  
Hermione: "I DON'T HAVE BOOBS!!"  
  
Neville: "I HAVE REALLY BIG AND SAGGY BOOBS!!!"  
  
McGonagol: "I DON'T HAVE REALLY BIG AND SAGGY BOOBS!!!!"  
  
Snape: "I HAVE BREASTS!!!"  
  
Dumbledore: "Oh my."  
  
Draco: "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME!!??"  
  
Crabbe: "Duuuhhh, you have boobies. And so do we. Duuuuuuhhh."  
  
Goyle: "Yeah, duuuuhhhh."  
  
Everyone at Hogwarts: "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
Harry: "What happened to us!?"  
  
Ron: "I don't know but I don't like it!!"  
  
Just then, Hermione ran into the boys common room in the Gryffindor house.  
  
Hermione: "You guys!! You guys!! Look what happened to----? Oh... My... God..."  
  
Ron: "I know."  
  
Harry: "Wow. You look surprisingly thin without your boobs."  
  
Hermione: "Shut up!!"  
  
Hermione then sits down but cringes as she does.  
  
Hermione: "Eeehhh. Great. I have a package too."  
  
Harry and Ron got a horrified look on their faces. They ran into the boys bathroom as fast as they could and soon came running out.  
  
Harry and Ron: "AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Harry: "We have.... you-knows!!!!!"  
  
Ron: "Yeah!! ........You-knows!!!"  
  
Hermione: "Eewww!! I think these things have happened to everyone in Hogwarts."  
  
Harry: "Yeah. But, why? Why would everyone in Hogwarts either loose their boobs and get packages or get boobs and you-knows?"  
  
Ron: "I don't know but it's really wierd.... and not right."  
  
Harry: "We should go talk to Prof. Dumbledore."  
  
Hermione: "Yeah. Let's go."  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione set off to find Dumbledore. It seemed like everyone in the entire school was yelling and screaming, trying to figure out what happened. Along the way, they ran into Draco.  
  
Harry: "OH MY GOD!!!!"  
  
Ron: "AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"  
  
Hermione: "HOW DISGUSTING!!"  
  
Draco: "What on earth is the matter with you!!??"  
  
Harry: "You have purple boobs!!"  
  
Draco: "Yeah, I know. I have no idea why though."  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione run away from Draco as fast as they can and run into Dumbledore along the way to his office.  
  
Harry Ron and Hermione: "Professor Dumbledore!? What happened to everyone!?"  
  
Dumbledore: "Well, near as I can tell, everyone's gender has changed. ANd I think I know why."  
  
Harry: "Why?"  
  
Ron: "Yeah. And how can we fix this? I don't want boobs and you-knows!"  
  
Hermione: "And I want my boobs back and get rid of this package!"  
  
Dumbledore: "I think it was those beans we had for dinner last night."  
  
Harry: "Really? You think those beans gave people packages, you-knows and boobs?"  
  
Dumbledore: "Yes. The store we got them from said they were GC beans. I looked them up this morning and they're called Gender Changing Beans."  
  
Ron: "Why did Draco Malfoy have purple boobs?"  
  
Dumbledore: "Because his beans were purple."  
  
All of the sudden, Hagrid runs in screaming.  
  
Hagrid: "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAPPENED TO ME!!!??? AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Harry Ron and Hermione: "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"  
  
Dumbledore: "Hagrid!! Harry, Ron, Hermione! Calm down!! I can fix everything!!"  
  
Hagrid: "Oh you can? Whew. I thought I was gonna be a woman forever."  
  
Harry: "*shudder*"  
  
Dumbledore pointed his wand at Hagrid.  
  
Dumbledore: "Sexius Changius!"  
  
Hagrid: "OH MY GOD THAT FEELS WEIRD!!"  
  
Hagrid's boobs dissappeared and he got his package back. Then Dumbledore pointed his wand at Harry, Ron, and Hermione.  
  
Dumbledore: "Sexius Changius!"  
  
Hermione: "Eeewww!! Hagrid was right! That does feel weird!"  
  
Harry: "Yeah!"  
  
Ron: "At least I don't have boobs anymore."  
  
And so Ron, Harry, Hermione and Hagrid were happy, although Dumbledore forgot to change everyone back. The school had to stock up on womans undergarmewnts for the boys and men's underpants for the girls. Everything was kinda normal from then on. Except Snape hid in the mountains for fear of being seen by someone for the remainder of time. Boys where no longer in fear of being kicked in the package by someone, although they all had "monthly visitors". The girls didn't have "monthly visitors" anymore though, so they gave all their "stuff" to the boys. Eventually, Malfoy's boobs turned green, blue, orange, and one time, an entire rainbow of colors, all on the same boobs! It was quite a sight to see. For some reason though, his boobs just kept getting bigger and bigger. Eventually, he suffocated because his boobs were so huge, they pressed against his face, so he couldn't breathe. Everyone said "Cool! Malfoy died!" Noone ever ate beans again. 


End file.
